Junebugs and Serial Killers

For those of you that don't know, my dog is pa-thet-ic. You cannot just open the back door, let her out, and have her do her business. You HAVE to stand outside with her, or she is just staring at you through the door and will not go.

Source

Mr A was recently out of town the other weekend, doing guy stuff with my Dad. That also happened to be the the night Baby Bear had a mini meltdown over a tornado warning.

Anywho, it was late and Little Miss Sunshine HAD to go out. I'm not going to lie, my backyard is pitch black at night. You cannot see anything! I'm never back there by myself, so I never really cared. Until that weekend. I knew I had to take her out. But I was really uneasy about it. All I could think was, if I turn on the light, I'm going to be attacked by dozens of junebugs. I was wearing my favorite fleece pajama pants. So those june bugs will buzz straight to me and stick to me like velcro, all the while being attacked by Little Miss Sunshine, as she jumps all over me prying each and every single one of them off me so she can play with them first, then squash them (not that I know this from experience or anything), or do I leave the light off  and wait for some serial killer to jump out from the bushes and stab me to death. What would you do?

Source