I have had some of the strangest things happen to me lately. Last week I was minding my own business, walking towards my car in my office parking lot and out of no where darted a bird. This little effer hit my purse! I figured I just happened to step into his flight path, my fault. I looked back at the bird to see where he landed. He was in the tree, staring at me. I continued walking and going about my business and here he came again, this time he got my hair. WTF?!!! Back in a tree he went, so I continued walking. He came at me again and got my shoulder. I turned around and he was sitting high and mighty on top of a car, staring and squawking at me! That is when I hightailed it out of there and ran for dear life to my car, and he followed! (Yes, arms flailing and everything) I know the mockingbird is our dear ol' state bird and all, and you aren't supposed to kill them, but shouldn't there be an exception?
|Just in case you have never seen a Mockingbird.|
This past weekend, I was out on our patio (it is a wood deck) and Little Miss Sunshine squatted to pee. I was floored. I could not believe that really just happened. When I told her no, she stopped and walked to me and I noticed my patio was DRY. She got absolutely none on the patio! This girl got it directly in between 2 teeny tiny slats. I mean, right on to my neighbors patio in front of their back door mind you. It takes some serious talent to be able to pull something like that off! Yet I was absolutely horrified.
Last night, I just so happened to be cooking spaghetti. I was switching the burners the sauce and the meat was on, and the back burner was hotter than I thought. The sauce started popping. I stepped back as The Mister was turning the temperature down, and out splashed steaming hot spaghetti sauce. I got hit. Can you guess where? Directly in my friggin' eye! Only I could pull something like that off.
I also managed to slice my stomach pretty good, with my very own fingernail. My thumb nail to be exact. I actually had a hard time stopping the bleeding. What are the odds?
To top this fabulous Tuesday off, I have learned NOT to use the word "seaman" and "I don't know where to put it" in the same sentence. EVER.
I hope you are all enjoying your week. As for me, I am making my very own bubble, made exclusively of bubble wrap and duct tape.