Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Its Only Tuesday?

I have had some of the strangest things happen to me lately. Last week I was minding my own business, walking towards my car in my office parking lot and out of no where darted a bird. This little effer hit my purse! I figured I just happened to step into his flight path, my fault. I looked back at the bird to see where he landed. He was in the tree, staring at me. I continued walking and going about my business and here he came again, this time he got my hair. WTF?!!! Back in a tree he went, so I continued walking. He came at me again and got my shoulder. I turned around and he was sitting high and mighty on top of a car, staring and squawking at me! That is when I hightailed it out of there and ran for dear life to my car, and he followed! (Yes, arms flailing and everything) I know the mockingbird is our dear ol' state bird and all, and you aren't supposed to kill them, but shouldn't there be an exception?

Just in case you have never seen a Mockingbird.

This past weekend, I was out on our patio (it is a wood deck) and Little Miss Sunshine squatted to pee. I was floored. I could not believe that really just happened. When I told her no, she stopped and walked to me and I noticed my patio was DRY. She got absolutely none on the patio! This girl got it directly in between 2 teeny tiny slats. I mean, right on to my neighbors patio in front of their back door mind you. It takes some serious talent to be able to pull something like that off! Yet I was absolutely horrified.

Last night, I just so happened to be cooking spaghetti. I was switching the burners the sauce and the meat was on, and the back burner was hotter than I thought. The sauce started popping. I stepped back as The Mister was turning the temperature down, and out splashed steaming hot spaghetti sauce. I got hit. Can you guess where? Directly in my friggin' eye! Only I could pull something like that off.

I also managed to slice my stomach pretty good, with my very own fingernail. My thumb nail to be exact. I actually had a hard time stopping the bleeding. What are the odds?

To top this fabulous Tuesday off, I have learned NOT to use the word "seaman" and "I don't know where to put it" in the same sentence. EVER.

I hope you are all enjoying your week. As for me, I am making my very own bubble, made exclusively of bubble wrap and duct tape.

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